FOREVER IN MY HEART: Postmodernist PAP Female Neo-Conservative Censors and Monitors Over The Last 36 Years

Dedicated To The Loves of

My Lifetime:

Those "Feminine",

"Truthful", "Magnanimous",

"Broad-minded", "Open-minded",

"Liberated" and "Honest"

Women!

(Which I Have Been "Meeting" --

Yes! Oh Dear! --

Through Electronic

Inter-Connections

and Telecommunications

With Them Over The Past

36 Years In Our

Postmodern Surveillance Society)


Of Women's Ugliness, Stupidity, and Sadness:
The Ageing Cunts, Drooping Tits, and Misshapen Bodies of "The Loves of My Lifetime"!


Introduction:

Not many postmodernist PAP female censors, spies and monitors -- working for the Singapore government as surveillance agents -- can qualify as femme fatales! Not even in those early youthful years! How many postmodernist PAP female censors, spies and monitors can be charmers, enchantresses, seductresses, sirens, temptresses or vamps? How do they look -- in terms of facial and physical appearance? Even when they were young, they were hardly beautiful, happy or intelligent! Physically, and facially, they were not even attractive! Now that they are already old, do they still look stupid, ugly, and sad -- as when they ere young?


Questions For These Romantic Women:

Are they still really THAT old-fashioned, still THAT prudish, still THAT overmodest, still THAT narrow-minded, still THAT old-maidish, still THAT priggish, still THAT puritanical, still THAT stuffy, still THAT ultra-virtuous, still THATprim, still THAT prissy, still THAT proper, still THAT squeamish, still THAT square, still THAT strait-laced, still THAT Victorian? And, yet, still so utterly lacking in basic humanity, honesty, feminity, and truthfulness -- not to mention basic human courtesy!


Commentary:

Postmodernist PAP women -- as censors, monitors and spies -- have been, and are still, all expressing themselves in an affected, feigned, hypocritical, hypercritical, hysterical, artificial, assumed, counterfeit, fabricated, fake, false, imitative, insincere, opinionated, pseudo, sham, simulated and spurious manner!


Are they, perhaps, now really "schizophrenic" themselves? (After all these years spent working in a MADHOUSE -- manipulating, humiliating and controlling (scientific and technological) "schizophrenics"?)


Conclusion:

I have absolutely no interest -- especially in a sexual (and certainly not in any romantic sense) --in associating with such misleading, self-interested and dishonest (not to mention ugly, sad and stupid) story-telling postmodernist PAP female spies, monitors and censors! What else is there for a knowing, knowledgeable and self-aware writer like me -- truthful, articulate and honest(not to mention still happy, intelligent and good-looking) who, as also a law-abiding citizen and human being, faces conflicts and pressures generated by his attempt to come to terms with his discovery of a world which has now become totally different from what he has always known, or thought he knew (even after his "implantation" in that significant year 1972) -- to say?



Decision:

It's your decision!

-- Ms HO CHING
(Prominent Member of The Government and The
Establishment; Wife of PM Lee Hsien Loong;
and, Arguably, The Most Powerful Woman in Singapore!)


They -- all these surveillance officers (male or female) -- all know my important name and flat number; but there will be no more extension of their "telecommunication lines" to my assertive, resurgent and bold being -- as a man, human, and citizen! And also even more as a writer, I might -- just might -- "HAVE" them! That's how I'd solved the long-standing and outstanding problem of trying to have "REAL" sexual relations with these ugly, sad and stupid female members of the most powerful and highest authority of this country -- as a presently FINANCIALLY destitute and dissident writer (who is despersately seeking FINANCIAL assistance from the great welfare agency)!

They will always be women to me! (But are they -- these moral and religious fanatics -- AHEAD of -- or BEHIND -- the time?)


PERSONAL REMINDER:

From now onwards, as these PAP/SGwomen don't -- and can't -- respond positively and respectfully to my higher intellectual and moral level of discourse, debate, discussion and conversation, I'll just have to hit their soft, sensitive, insecure, vulnerable and weak spots or areas -- in other words, their sense or image of their own facial and physical appearances! Yes, it's a matter of tit-for-tat! And an eye for an eye! But didn't they ask for it? Serve them right!

Finally, I'm trying to avoid being affected by the TOXIC atmosphere existing in their Control Room -- on their side! Or to put it differently: I want to avoid being infected by the viruses from their side!

Bizarre Odyssey: My Life As A Man Controlled By The Network's Core Group of Power-Players

Which Side Am I On?

(You Know Which Side!)


The only possible redemption for me from this gruesome and still unconcluded chapter of my life seems to be escaping the boredom--at whatever cost--in this authoritarian and autocratic, yes, totalitarian society (in which nothing is left to chance and nothing is what it seems).

To survive within and against this system--the nameless and faceless but all-present authorities--which are allied to an insidious, chilling and mysterious organisation of sometimes silent and sometimes vocal but usually always listening voices (but which is not an exclusive association, for its membership is also open to those who can "hear" and "speak"!).

The Network! It is everything! The company, the goal, the structure--none of that counts! The important thing is always the way the company ("exotic" indeed!) relates to the system, which uses the most draconian and invasive secret police in the world!

My rebellion and strategy for survival is a calculated carefulness (as opposed to one of calculated carelessness).

For instance, I remain reticent--with, still, the same aim of defying logic and of bewildering people.

I make these stooges believe that I control secret links to which they have no access.

Out of the sheer boredom of a hopeless situation, I embark on the dangerous and futile quest of clearing up my boring/messy life--since 1972!

I am hungry for any truth that might/may survive a struggle with the authorities.

The complicity that the PAP regime imposed, directly and indirectly, on all its subjects!

Duplicity became the disease of the entire country, both at the Party apparatus level and at the level of the masses (who used duplicity for their survival)!

Emotional compromises? Complicity with (or resistance to) the authorities?

Once they are said, lies take their revenge. Lies come true. They become reality. And that's the ultimate truth!

(Reality is not the ultimate truth! A "mad" society--without principles!)

The MADHOUSE has not only corrupted its language but also the innermost psyches of its subjects. The rot is deep. There are few foundations left upon which to rebuild.

Truth, Reality and History: Errors, Fraudulences, And the Faked Identities of the Controlled Citizens

Governmental Control & Manipulation of My Family --

With the Use of Modern Surveillance Technologies

Brief Particulars of My Violated Family:

1. Grandpa's Place of Rest: Mandai Columbarium, Row 117, Niche No. 364.
2. Grandma's Name: Chong Ah Yan (1874--1971).
3. Father's Name: Chua Cheng Chin (8.8.1914--25.3.2000); NRIC No: 0241340Z; Place of Rest: Mandai Columbarium, Blk C, Row 217, Niche No. 183.
4. Mother's Name: Tan Ah Keow (14.4.1915--11.9.2002); NRIC No: 0254903D; Place of Rest: Mandai Columbarium, Blk C, Row 317, Niche No. 130.
5. Siblings from mother's second marriage (to my father--also his second marriage), which brought me into this world on 30.7.1953: Helen Chua Chwee Lian; Don Chua Tiong Seah; Derrick Chua Seng Seah.
6. Siblings from mother's first marriage: Tan Kim Kee; Tan Thian Hock; Chua Kim Lian; Tan Tian Ong.
7. Siblings from father's first marriage: Joseph Chua Thee Siah; Lilian Chua Guet Lian; Michael Chua Peng Siah.
8. Siblings from father's third marriage: Nessie Chua Chwee (Hong) Lian; Francis Chua Lam Siah; John Chua Guan Seah; Jeffrey Chua Thiam Seah; Irene Chua Lay Lian; Janet Chua Mui Lian; Cindy Chua Kwee Lian.

NOTES:

Chua Chwee Lian (Helen):

Helen, born on 21 September 1948, is my elder sister, who will soon be 60 years old in September 2008. She is a housewife with two sons--the younger one (Kelvin Set Zhi Wei, NRIC No: 8801772B) is currently serving National Service and the older one (Benny Set Chern Loong, NRIC No: 7629814I) is working in a private firm (and going to be married to a Chinese girl in September 2008). Helen likes to tour other countries and must have visited so many countries by now. (She would happily show us her photographs taken during those trips overseas upon her return.) She helps me in a big way financially every month.

Chua Kim Lian (Ah Leng):

Ah Leng, as we normally call her, is one of my elder half-sisters (from my mother's first marriage to my long-deceased step-father). She likes to play mahjong, swim every morning, and visit other countries every now and then with her friends. She was divorced from her husband, Ng Kian Hock, a long time ago and had two married daughters with him--one of whom, Patricia Ng En Bee, is presently living with her. Patricia lives with her husband, Kane Chen Kin Meng, a cinematographer, and their two children (Keby and Celestine), in a HDB apartment in Choa Chu Kang. Her elder sister, Linda Ng En Hoon, is married to Soh Eng Seng and they have three children--Kelvin, Christopher and Kristy. Ah Leng would often boil Chinese medicinal herbs for me to drink whenever we met at my brother Derrick's house--to help control my high blood pressure. She also helps me financially every month.

Chua Tiong Seah (Don):

Don (email: doncai18@yahoo.com.sg), born on 18 July 1955, is my brother, two years younger than me. He is now self-employed, baking organic bread at home almost daily and selling them to various shops, people and organisations in order to supplement his family income. He is married to Choong Mi Mi and they have three school-going children (Cai Yiming, Cai Wenrong and Cai ChengYue). Don is very concerned about his health and fitness (which is very good) and he maintains it by not only ensuring that he exercises regularly but also knowing how to control his eating habits. He helps me financially every month.

Chua Seng Seah (Derrick):

Derrick is my brother, four years younger than me. He is working as an electrician. He is married to Chan Oi Lin and has a son, Mervyn, in school now. Derrick is a very responsible family-man who gave up smoking and heavy betting on lottery so that he could have enough money to help with the household expenses. But he still drives a van even though it is costly to do so--chiefly, because of the convenience of having one's own private means of transport and secondly, because he really enjoys driving. He had given his expensive hi-fi stereo sound system to me many years ago, when I moved out of his house to live on my own in a purchased flat. He helps me financially every month.